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Anak dan cita-cita

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Post time 9-1-2013 09:45 AM | Show all posts |Read mode
Pernah tak anak-anak  you all berkata sesuatu yang agak menyimpang jauh dari kebiasaan? My son aged 7yo selalu kata dia nak buat tatu bila dah besar nanti, dia nak pindah ke Australia, dia nak buat rambut justin bieber & sesuatu yang paling I terkejut bila suatu petang dia beritahu, "When I grow up, I don't want to be a muslim".. I sungguh terkejut dan bertanya WHY? Jawapannya, dia nak jadi English man. Oh my, jauh sungguh angan-angan anakku ini. Sekarang dia dah faham perbezaan antara Muslim, Malay & English. I brainwash dia, you takkan jadi an englishman because you are malay but if you still insist, OK, you can become an english muslim man.

Since dia umur 7 tahun I dah wajibkan dia solat dengan abang dia umur 9 tahun. Dia mengaji, I hantar dia ke Tadika Islam and now both sekolah kebangsaan & sekolah agama. But I noticed dari kecil perangai dia sangat bertentangan dengan abang & adik dia. Masa baby dia tak nak makan bubur nasi but egg and cheese, setiap kali masuk dalam kereta dia akan minta kita tukar radio HitFM or any english music, dia tak berkawan dengan other kids except his siblings i.e. abang & adik lelaki & he hate durian so much. Sejak umur 4-5 tahun I sudah beri children encyclopedia yang penuh gambar, dia ingat & kenal jenis-jenis dinosaur dan bila dah pandai membaca, which was a bit late at 6 yo, dia sudah pandai tengok map dan tahu kedudukan negara-negara dan australia jadi negara kesukaan dia.

I selalu fikirkan, apakah yang ada dalam fikiran dia. Dia agak malas belajar dan ketinggalan di dalam kelas walaupun dah kuasai 3M. Malam semalam, sebelum kiss good night, dia beritahu I, "When I grow up, you can call me Alex". Oh my, sekarang nak tukar nama pulak? I banyak beri jawapan yang terus, misal bab buat tatu, i terus terang beritahu dia "haram", "Tuhan marah", "nanti masuk neraka". Masalah nak jadi bangsa lain tu, dia berkeras nak juga sampai i beritahu dia, "Ok, marry one of them".

Adakah dengan cara terus terang katakan tentang hukum dalam agama ini berkesan pada anak-anak umur sebegini? Bila suatu hari nanti dia tanya pasal adanya Tuhan yang I selalu cakap, kenapa tak pernah jumpa, tak pernah nampak,  apa agaknya jawapan yang sangat sesuai untuk berikan pada dia supaya dia faham? Last edited by sarahmirza on 9-1-2013 09:50 AM

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Post time 9-1-2013 10:19 AM | Show all posts
sian mungkin kene panggil ustaz atau ustazah ajar bab2 agama lebih kat umah kot...tak per nanti tunggu otai2 masuk...coz anak aku kecik lagi...tak de pengalaman mcm nie...anak2 tiri pun dah besar...
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Post time 9-1-2013 10:25 AM | Show all posts
would you want to explore his

'idiosyncrasy' , may be  ? - especially on his views of western lifestyle, cultures etc etc '

tell  him factually that  u know eating cheese too much , hamburgers too much are not good for the heart  etc etc . You then would want to quote factual  events as EXAMPLES ( because i think your boy is intelligent  - and from his viewpoint due to some 'subliminal message' he obtaioned from friends, MEDIA ....i think ), said to him   in America  where the orang putih lives, a bunch of scientists have conducted a study on the food they ate with heart problems later in life  ....that city is  called Framingham...they later found that ....... in long term if you eat too MUCH ....

our malay food is healthy too like ulam errrr [ sorry guys i tau hanya ulam raja, selom , kacang botol , etc etc jer heheehe]



your job is to challenge his  'idealistic IDIOSYNCRASY' pertaining to u know western lifestyle yg tak berapa bagus tu in a VERY GOOD WAY  - ask him to see and think ....stimulate his mind - what do you think ..in the west it is like this , Is the east it is like this...In Islam ....... it is like this.......

jangan marah dulu but anak macam ni seronok challenge ...provoke in a very healthy way laaa

while at the same time  u have to appriase niilai apa yg bagus...

your job is to subtly challenge the idiosyncrasy , pick role model muslim yg bagus in oxford - Syeikd al Akiti kat oxford [ i cannot remember his name]

ada je muslim yg bagus kat u know any countries, ambik yg practicing muslims...

Last edited by mbhcsf on 9-1-2013 10:29 AM

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Post time 9-1-2013 10:31 AM | Show all posts
said Justin Bieber tu hanya tonjolkan apa yg dia nak u lihat

quote an artist as role model - justin bieber is not a GREAT intelligent way to quote as a role model laaaaa

nak the cita
might as well u quote Maher Zain ....
bagi satu role model ( i HATE the word IDOLA ) yg best best sikit dan yg bagus...
he is damn good...he lives in the West, he finished Uni - etc etc

u see? give him  another contra model ...yg bagus... Last edited by mbhcsf on 9-1-2013 10:32 AM

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Post time 9-1-2013 10:50 AM | Show all posts
your kid at 7 years old , so at this stage they mostly use  concrete , logical reasoning to express their tjoughts, knowledge about the world.

they believe what they see...benda 'concrete' what they are unable to digest yet is the value- laden system behind this issue.

tak dapat lagi dia nak fikir the clash of 'cultures' - what is culture then ?
pada dia may be depan dia buku encyclopaedia but well how does he make sense of  those books he read?

so sini peranan you  , kena ada goal, aim nak bagi dia 'embed' nilai ni

u bagi kat dia globes, introduce him to many many ethnics ...
explore hois laid belief on the people around the globes

the eskimos , the Inuits , the people in lapland etc etc , middle east  , japanese, ambik ayat Quran - yg Allah jadikan kiat berbagao bagai , U KENA emphasis  setiap bangsa dalam dunai ni ada kelebihan memasing...look at japanese, look at their country  etc etc
look at  this...

so at the end ensure that he NOW KNOWS that semua ethnic ada nilai, ciri memasing yg Allah jadikan mereka istimewa dan TAK PAYAH jadi org lain ....

so u know...instill him with balance , good thoughts....cer tanya dia macam mana dia dapat idea tu ? who is  his friend? dia kawan dgn ex-pats' children ,ke?

so thAt we could learn from one another  - i am sure he , at this stage is narvelling at western sophistication ... so your role ialah to balance  the (VALUE - FREE thought to VALUE -laden THOUGHT ,BEBAS NILAI VERSUS BERLANDASKAN NILAI ) Last edited by mbhcsf on 9-1-2013 10:57 AM

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Post time 9-1-2013 10:51 AM | Show all posts
u challenge logics WITH logics ....
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Post time 9-1-2013 11:02 AM | Show all posts
tattoo? dia suka

kata kat dia yg


ada penyakit  Hep B ; said thsi euwwwww yucksss tattooo u know  ungly you klnow when you grow old and when your skin gets very flabby and stuffs, wrinkled ...your tattoo will look uglier ...hahaha

and  HEPATITIS B - is easily infected through tattoing due to DIRTY NEEDLES


eeeeeeeeeeeeee cakap kat dia  it is a very high risk act ....yucksss

cakap je
but you kena bantai facts laaaaaa


heheheh
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 Author| Post time 9-1-2013 03:25 PM | Show all posts
ina_na posted on 9-1-2013 10:19 AM
sian mungkin kene panggil ustaz atau ustazah ajar bab2 agama lebih kat umah kot...tak per nanti tung ...


I dont feel this related to the akidah..... Kids at that age, bila ajar dia mengaji dia ikut, ajar solat dia ikut, kat sekolah pun tak ada masalah belajar agama plus  i hantar dia sekolah agama petang. Dia maybe keliru dengan apa yang dia pernah lalui, whatever yang dia tengok di dvd & books. Actually, separuh usia dia (born until 4yo) growing up abroad, abang dia schooling sana dan bila balik Malaysia dulu, both of them memang agak confused dengan bahasa but after 3y, the abang boleh adapt the environment tapi dia tak. Macam DVD Barney, Telletubbies, Shawn the sheep, Oggy etc kan ada scene salji, celebrate krismas, so dia bertanya kenapa tak ada salji di sini? Kenapa kita tak celebrate krismas? So i explain dia bab geografi sikit, pasal agama, kepercayaan, beza antara bangsa dan agama, bla3. Lepas seminggu dua, dia akan ulang lagi pertanyaan yang hampir sama . Last edited by sarahmirza on 9-1-2013 03:27 PM

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 Author| Post time 9-1-2013 04:04 PM | Show all posts
mbhcsf posted on 9-1-2013 10:50 AM
your kid at 7 years old , so at this stage they mostly use  concrete , logical reasoning to express  ...

Thanks mbhcsf. I dgoogle ''idiosyncrasy' , terasa semakin risau pula. Memang kadang kala I rasa mencabar nak explain pada dia. Kadang-kala dia tak bantah apa yang kita beritahu, just accept tapi ada masa dia terus pergi je macam tak setuju dengan apa yang kita beritahu. Globe tu bagus, I rasa kena cari satu petang ini. Senang sikit nak explain pada dia berkaitan 4 seasons yang tak ada di sini.

Justin bieber, dia minat rambut sahaja. Masa cuti sekolah I bagi dia rambut panjang ala2 macam tu tapi start semester baru dah kena potong. Tatoo pula, dia suka melukis. Maybe dia nampak tu as part of art, so dia suka. Baru ini tengok TV pasal orang bertatoo sempat I explain pada dia segala keburukan tatoo dan betapa tak cantiknya kulit bila dah bertatoo. Tak lama lepas tu, dia kata lagi dia nak bertatoo dan adik dia yang umur 6 tahun jawab "haram". Adik dia boleh faham tapi dia pula selagi kita tak kata "OK, you can", selagi itu dia macam tak faham.

Bab mengajar, abang & adik cepat tangkap apa yang di ajar, tapi dia, I kena usaha triple lagi especially bab yang dia tak minat nak buat i.e. homework & mengaji. Dulu-dulu I suspek dia  ADHD tapi semakin besar, dia fokus bila buka encyclopedia, kenal dinosaur dengan nama sekali, hafal bendera negara dunia, suka tengok world map & good in art (pandai melukis). Dia anti-sosial, langsung tak nak make new friend dengan sesiapa walaupun classmate yang jumpa hari-hari, tak nak bercakap dengan stranger & teacher also! I pernah bawa jumpa paed, puas doktor tanya macam-macam, langsung tak keluar suara. Orang kata biarkan sampai dia besar tapi I risau am too late untuk tolong dia.
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Post time 9-1-2013 05:09 PM | Show all posts
mcm anak i sikit tapi u complicated.my doter 4y.my family xwarak dan xsosial sgt.sedang2.tapi almost bertudung.adik ipar i awal 20's agak seksi.so my doter selalu bgtau i untie dia seksi.i bgtau terus terang,xbaik seksi.kakak bgtau la untie.n dia mmg bgtau.untie dia senyum jek.

bila tgk tv,citer inggeris ke,cina ke yg ppuan pakai seksi,nmpak breast dia akan tya.nmpak chinese pakai shortpants dia akn tya.smpai i kata,dia xpe.dia bukan islam.bukan islam boleh.kita islam,xboleh.dia accept.bila i pakai shortpant kat rumah,bj sleeveless dia plk tegur i kata mama,xboleh seksi.xbaik.siap kata masuk neraka.mmg i yg ajar benda tu...

so far,i suka.sbb dia fhm.cm kdg2 dia sgt straight.klu i pakai bj kurung singsing lengan pun dia tegur ckp knp mama buat mcm tu.i xnak ckp byk terus turunkan.padahal certain time,kita rs panas je.nenek dia,papa dia semua dia tegur.lps magrb i ajar dia ngaji.one day dia sound papa dia.knp papa xngaji.i pnh ckp ms nk suh dia ngaji.sape xngaji nanti cpt jd gila.dia pun bgtu papa klu papa xngaji nati papa jd gila.hih....selamba je.pastu papa dia jwb,papa ngaji masa kakak pergi sekolah.br dia ok.

anak i ni pdiam.dia mcm byk berfikir.so,mmg kena sentiasa guide bdk2 mcm n.i kena jg mulut.sbb dia mudah ikut apa yg i buat.adik dia umur 2thn langsung xkisah...main je..klu tya kakaknk jd apa.kakak nk jadi cikgu.i kata jd la doktor.dia mest ckp kakak nk jd cikgu.klu tya adik,adik terus jawab adik nak jadi ultraman.

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Post time 9-1-2013 05:10 PM | Show all posts
mungkin dia confused kot...mungkin sbb islam dia kait ngan malays only.atau muslim ni kene pakai jubah jah....dia tgk mat salleh ni plak mcm maju jek kot...cuba skali skala tunjuk muslim 'mat salleh'...like suhaib webb tu rasanyer mcm mudah gak nak paham...my son pung sekali sekala menyoal menguji minda jugak...like Allah tuh rupa dia mcm ner?laki ke pompuan?lagik best antara Allah,superman n ntah apa lagik man tuh saper paling hebat?
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Post time 9-1-2013 11:35 PM | Show all posts
Nak 'brainwash' budak bukan serta merta, consistently kena approach & guide wt islamic values (mcm brainwash la jgk) Sbb tv, media, internet punya brainwash sgt power. Budak2 dgn imigination depa x boleh dipisahkan. Anak2 biasala suka yg nampak seronok until dia betul2 faham.. At least ur son speaks up his mind, yg senyap2 tu kita tak boleh challenge & kembangkan knowledge dia. Certain things yg his tastes tu tak jadi masalah pun, even kita pun ada taste sendiri jugak prefer certain food & certain songs, i.e. english/malay/arab/hindi songs. But his faith, kenal Allah tu yg kena tanamkan... Tukarkan, negative ke positive sides, tang masuk neraka tu kepada masuk syurga... Budak2 suka seronok kan...

Teringat anak I masa 3yrs old asked me to call him Bob, sbb minat sgt dgn bob the builder. Masa I kecik my 2nd bro, cakap kat mak I dia nak kawin dgn 10 orang minah saleh... so far, baru kawin dgn sorang melayu hehee...

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Post time 9-1-2013 11:51 PM | Show all posts
maybe you can sit down and pikir betul2 how is his environment dari kecik sampai besar. Apa yg dia tgk around him, apa yg dia selalu dgr n apa yg dia selalu tengok, People around him tu, what are their ways of thinking?

Maybe anak you kuat berangan and this is one form of extreme berangan? Kids like to pretend, so maybe he overdoes his pretending?

Another way to look at, kenapa dia selalu nak jadi macam orang itu, macam orang ini? Why is he not happy with what he is? Dia selalu kena critisize ke? Selalu kena comment sbb tak perform ke? Selalu kena compare ke?

Maybe one of the above questions can help you...

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Post time 10-1-2013 08:56 AM | Show all posts
macademia posted on 9-1-2013 11:51 PM
maybe you can sit down and pikir betul2 how is his environment dari kecik sampai besar. Apa yg dia t ...

yup betul mac....kene tgk balik what swe have fed them?i mean the enviroment la..skang ni too much hiburan...
anak den plak ritu mcm takdak cita2....pehtu ntah mana dpt ilham nak jadik pilot...mcm kita2 jugak la dari kecik ke besar baper kali tukar cita2...
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Post time 10-1-2013 11:22 AM | Show all posts
i guess it is a large TRANSITION of the ambience laaaaa

he has been exposed to non terra - rossal [ local ] culture before kan dok u know oversea , i canm understand that , ni culture transition laaa well...kita fascilitate je cuba....

he is asking you because , he wants to understand things which is a good behaviour , also being 7 years old he had his own  'idiosyncrasy'  as well...

so u know...fascilitate  the positive ones...challenge the 'idealistic, non - value - laden ' thought.

i like the comment from  Macedemia ...look at the changes he needs to himself through ...adapting tu ...i lupa tu  yesss good ones...

sebab i suspect your sosn mesti mingle dgn kekanak non malaysian ni ...hahah sebab tu enquiry dia  tinggi - i loveee kids macam ni ...suke sangat ...
satu lagi sekolah kat Malaysia - well i cam imagine  that this is gonna be a bit of a challenge dengan mentality cikgu lagi well  yeah...well  hmm...friends
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Post time 10-1-2013 12:02 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Satu lg, kalau boleh, go deeper than 'tuhan marah'
Kaitkan benda tu dengan science, bagi bukti
Sounds like your kid sangat intelligent, selalu2lah discuss dengan dia, bagi tunjuk contoh orang Islam yang sama berjaya, mcm contoh bieber tadi gantikan dengan maher zain. Sikit2 je, jgn resort to stereotype answers mcm 'tak elok' or 'nanti tuhan marah' lagi confuse budak2 jadinya
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Post time 10-1-2013 12:10 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
sarahmirza posted on 9-1-2013 04:04 PM
Thanks mbhcsf. I dgoogle ''idiosyncrasy' , terasa semakin risau pula. Memang kadang kala I rasa me ...

I think your son is showing signs of a schizoid. Smart but antisocial. I am schizoid myself, and masa kecik dulu I have a lot of unanswered questions (I hate jawapan mcm 'tak boleh' 'nanti tuhan marah') I wanted definite answers

Pendekatan lain adalah dengan beri dia banyak buku yg ada contoh teladan yang baik (in english). I resorted to Enid Blyton when I was 8 sampai 12 tahun, plus I read a lot of magazines like National Geographic and Readers Digest. It answered some of my questions but mmg rasa sgt terkongkong, up until I umur 18 dan cuba cari jawapan sendiri.

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Post time 10-1-2013 12:32 PM | Show all posts
rayna_raynes posted on 10-1-2013 12:02 PM
Satu lg, kalau boleh, go deeper than 'tuhan marah'
Kaitkan benda tu dengan science, bagi bukti
Sou ...

approach kita malays selalu gitu kan?tp ngk citer omputih parents derang akan menerangkan dengan penuh kasih sayang...i'm tring hard too...
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 Author| Post time 11-1-2013 08:44 AM | Show all posts
cupu posted on 9-1-2013 05:09 PM
mcm anak i sikit tapi u complicated.my doter 4y.my family xwarak dan xsosial sgt.sedang2.tapi almost ...

Anak I yang sulung ada masa menegur juga tapi tegur adik-adik dia. Let say I beritahu dia tak perlu beli toys lagi sebab kita dah ada banyak toys, dia akan beritahu adik dia yang sama bila adik dia merengek nak toys.
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 Author| Post time 11-1-2013 09:12 AM | Show all posts
macademia posted on 9-1-2013 11:51 PM
maybe you can sit down and pikir betul2 how is his environment dari kecik sampai besar. Apa yg dia t ...

Critisize, comment or compare so far I tak pernah buat but his abang did . I selalu beritahu abang, if adik tak boleh solve simple maths, jangan marah but tolong ajar dia. Selalunya abang cepat marah dan mula compare dia dengan adik tadika dia. Masa dia belum boleh baca, sometimes abang volunteer nak ajar adik membaca but end up adik ni menangis sebab kena marah dengan abang. Sekarang bila abang ajar adik yang tadika membaca, abang beritahu I adik tadika lagi pandai dari yang 7yo ni. I selalu remind abang jangan compare adik-adik but kids,  mesti akan terlepas kata juga.

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