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[Pelbagai] ...LETS JOKE TO TICKLE THE MIND...

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Author: seribulan       Show all posts   Read mode

Post time 7-3-2017 07:59 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:00 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:00 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:01 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Edited by Clefairy at 7-3-2017 08:03 PM

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:03 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appear out of nowhere
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:04 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A married couple are out one night at a dance club. Theres a guy on the dance floor giving it large: break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? Twenty years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." The husband says, "Looks like hes still celebrating!"
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Post time 7-3-2017 08:10 PM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife mother of six rather than by her first name. The wife, amused at first, chuckles. A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," he would say, "whats for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated. Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"

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Post time 7-3-2017 11:01 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:02 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:03 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:04 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:05 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:06 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 7-3-2017 11:09 PM | Show all posts
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Post time 8-3-2017 03:42 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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Post time 8-3-2017 03:46 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Edited by seribulan at 8-3-2017 07:24 AM

If someone calls you 'ugly', have a good comeback and say 'excuse me', i am not a mirror

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Post time 8-3-2017 11:24 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
John was talking to his fiance, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest now, baby, how am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he asked excitedly. "Yes, in fact I would say that you're the dictionary definition of the word 'warm.'" John was pleased until he went home and just for fun, checked his dictionary and found, "WARM: Not so hot."
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Post time 8-3-2017 11:28 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
John and Bob were discussing their married lives. Although happily married to their wives, they admitted that there were arguments sometimes. John said, Ive made one great discovery. I know how to always have the last word. Wow!" said Bob, how did you manage that? Its easy, replied John, my last word is always Yes Dear"
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Post time 8-3-2017 11:30 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
There is a husband and a wife. The husband dies, and during the funeral, the wife starts to laugh. Everybody starts to ask her why, and she says, "This is the first time that I know where my husband is going."
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Post time 8-3-2017 11:30 AM From the mobile phone | Show all posts
Someone asked me, "Now that you are retired, do you still have a job?" I replied, "Yes I am my wife's sexual adviser." Somewhat shocked, they said, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple," I answered, "My wife has told me that when she wants my fucking advice, she'll ask me for it."
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